Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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