is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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