Swine flu. Run for my life!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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