I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
