I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
