He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
