Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
