absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
