Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
