the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
