Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
