Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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