A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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