So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
