I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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