Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
