Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
