am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
