I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
