Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
