If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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