I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
