More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
