hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
