how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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