We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
