matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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