I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
