If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
