i don't like sucking hair
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
