wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
