Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
