my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
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