Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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