whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
