We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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