Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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