I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
