jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
God, you're like boner-b-gone
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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