brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
