I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
