SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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