Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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