maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
