I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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