im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
