I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
