The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
