i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
