wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
