you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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