Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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