The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
