I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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