Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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